I am acknowledging that I am an imperfect woman and I can only be saved by running to a perfect God. The journey is not easy with our insecurities and all the noise from society which can be hard to shut down. I am learning from other boss ladies who define their own “woman enough status” and most importantly I am learning from the Bible. There are important steps I have learnt to take to get to the point of being woman enough.
“Have an unconditional relationship with yourself as you are right now” Tracee ellis Ross
Beauty has been defined to us from a young age and it has evolved with time but its effect on us remains constant. Some people perceive beauty to be the woman with good physical looks that everybody is besotted with. There is a certain type of hair, body shape and size and also the clothes one wears.
You need to unconditionally love yourself as you are. Enhancing your hips or changing your skin color will not make you love yourself more. What happens when you don’t possess the next thing society deems beautiful? Will you go and have it done also? We were created in His own image. Love yourself in a way no one can. If you feel that you are healthy at whatever you weigh you walk with your head high.
I personally weigh more than I should and my health is potentially threatened but guess what? I am working on my weight but as I do that, I am having a stable relationship with myself. I once vented to someone on how my lips are really dark and hence the need to use lipstick and they said no you don’t need that. I didn’t listen until I realized that after fixing my lips with lipstick there is always another part of me that needs fixing. I am therefore learning that I am enough and I am loving this girl unconditionally.
Whether or not you have achieved what you wanted to achieve in your career, relationship or elsewhere, it is prudent to appreciate the “you now”. Love yourself unconditionally with all your flaws.
Everyone makes mistakes; it’s okay to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for giving the wrong people your time. Forgive yourself for falling too easy, for hurting people or for prioritizing things that aren’t so important. Forgive yourself and let go; do not give your past the power to dictate your future. It doesn’t matter what people think about you. It doesn’t matter if they still judge you from your past ways. Just make peace with “the you” now. I am reminded of three women in the Bible, Rahab, Mary and the woman at the well. They had a past and yet God used them in different ways. Forgive others too and genuinely ask for forgiveness.
Define your own beauty
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that fully well.” Psalms 139:14. You can only be confident in yourself when you define what makes you beautiful. This includes both inner and outward beauty. Define your own style so you do not feel the need to be like someone else. People will try to convince you that a certain hairstyle looks good on u, or that dress will make you prettier. Will you truly feel beautiful in that hairstyle or dress, assuming you wear them? I don’t even think your partner should define your beauty. There is something beautiful about being self-aware. When you are self-aware you attract people who appreciate “the you” you love. You are able to understand other people and how they perceive you.
You are a work in progress
Put your passion into practice. If its reading books that gets you excited, then by all means read as many books as you can. Travel the world if that is what you want. There is no limit to what you can do so go for it. Learn to rely on yourself and find a partner who complements, not completes, you.. There are so many things that I want to do, some even sound impossible to me, but the fact that I can dream makes me feel like a superwoman.
“When it comes to living and loving, what’s required is a willingness to jump in with both feet and be creative as you go.” John Eldredge. Do everything you can to grow as a person.
Have relationship with God.
Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
There is religion and then there is intimacy with God. As a woman desire to have a relationship with God. There is so much fulfillment that comes from Him. There is a poem by Jackie Hill Perry where she advises women to take their heart from men and go back to God, their creator. Having a relationship with God means you allow His will to be done in your life, you trust Him. It means that you find your value in Him and not the world. It means you understand that we are all created by Him so no one on this earth can save you, define you or make you. You understand that you belong to Him and no one can invalidate you. You learn that you are woman enough.
It’s a journey but you can get there, head held high. For me what makes me woman enough is the fact that I am secure in who I am. The fact that I am finding myself in a perfect God. The fact that I am having a relationship with myself and the fact that I feel enough as I am.