Pat Yourself on the Back

by Pauline

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You deserve a seat at the table even if you just brought dessert!

Pat yourself on the back for every little achievement. Pat yourself on the back if you are not where you were yesterday. Pat yourself on the back often because people will be quick to point out your failures and slow to congratulate you for a small win. Pat yourself on the back for walking away from the destructive relationship, for leaving the negative people in your life. Pat yourself on the back for leaving that job that caused your depression, for having a vision and acting on it. Pat yourself on the back for being a great mother even though you didn’t get a manual, for being a great dad even though you were really scared (and unprepared) at first. Pat yourself on the back for not giving up, for pushing harder when they did not acknowledge your presence on the table. Pat yourself on the back for using the stones thrown at you to build a mansion. Pat yourself on the back for being you, for learning to love and appreciate yourself. Pat yourself on the back for being the person you are today. You have to be your own cheerleader.
We are all on our own journey hence why we never arrive at the same time. We use so much time comparing our first steps with someone else last step. We become stress addicts because our achievements can only be true achievements if they compare to the next person.
We do not pat ourselves on the back because we feel like we don’t deserve the win. I have felt that, in the last one week I have had two wins at work and for a moment I felt like I didn’t deserve any of that.
There are more experienced people around me so I doubted myself instead of feeling validated. I was scared because I didn’t feel like I deserved any of those wins. The first thought in my head was, who told these people that I can do this? Why do they see so much potential in me? What if I let them down? What if they wake up the next day and realize that I am just a small town girl who is not all that?  All these ran through my mind so instead of going home and pouring myself a cup of tea with some mint leaves, I went home and stressed out.
I am however learning that everything I put out there, someone notices. It is a blessing to have someone notice and recognize you for small wins. It motivates me to want to do better, to be greater. I am therefore going to put my best foot forward and even if I fail I will have given my all. I am cognizant of the fact that some days I will be strong and positive and some days I will be off, so I am putting on my cheerleader costume and cheering this girl today, tomorrow will take care of itself.
Let me leave you with this prayer from Paulo Coelho’s book Brida. This is a deep book that needs to be understood. It has witchcraft and God on the same page but interesting journey of a girl finding her purpose. I have no idea what to think of it but hey I resonate with this prayer.
“Lord, help me understand that all the good things in life that happen to me do so because I deserve them. Help me understand that what moves me to seek out Your truth is the same force that moved the saints, and the doubts I have are the same doubts that the saints had, and my frailties are the same frailties. Help me to be humble enough to accept that I am no different from other people. Amen.”

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