I Created a Gratitude Journal and I am Using it to Get my Life Together

by Pauline
I am going through my journal, reading my entries from earlier in the year. I can vividly see the girl I was. I can almost touch the emotions I was feeling when writing on the journal. The fear I felt behind the mustard seed-size faith, when I wrote my affirmations. The self-pity vibes I had to kill before writing out what I was grateful for.

Oh, when I think back to that time, to the challenges I felt were insurmountable. To the celebration of small wins, I am proud of myself and how far i have come. Still, I can’t help but wonder if life is repetitive. We go through tough seasons in life, overcome and smile again only for a new tough season to come our way later in life.

One of my favorite pod-caster Myleik Teele shares a happiness hack advice from her father. “Every time you feel happy you bottle up that feeling. When the moment comes and you feel sad, you open up the bottle and feel the happiness.”

I am starting to believe that’s what my dear journal is all about. It doubles up as my bottle of happiness and a weapon. It’s a weapon I use to fight the battles that come my way, and a bottle I open up to feel the happiness in it.

I write for the girl I am now and for the woman I am becoming.

I affirm myself

Life brings with it sunshine and sometimes storms. Moments we get to learn a lot about our strengths and our weakness.

It’s our longing for better days that keeps us pushing. The faith that we hold onto, that God’s promises will be revealed in our lives.

Going through these seasons, I have come to the realization that the power to overcome is in my words. I express myself better by writing so I write the truths about my life.

The person I know I am past my present circumstance. The person I am becoming past the self-doubt crazy woman in my mind calling me ugly names with no evidence.

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Affirming me isn’t lying to myself. It’s echoing the truth from what my creator has told me. Affirming me helps me fight impostor syndrome in situations where I feel like I don’t fit in.

When I read out what I have written I take the role of being my own cheerleader. Go girl! I am happy, inward and outward. It boosts my confidence level too.

I have found myself reading out an affirmation before sending out an application for a job/project I want but that scares me to death.

That is what I call the magic of affirmations, dear friend.

I Practice Gratitude

People talk of gratitude like it’s the easiest thing to do. It isn’t, because it means you have to always look for the ray of hope in difficult situations. It means that you have to have faith when the universe seems to be conspiring against you.

I have learnt not to practice gratitude halfheartedly. I can’t practice gratitude when I am cheerful on the outside but inward I am discontent.

I bare it all. I admit out loud that I am afraid that things may not work out as planned. I admit that I wish I had certain things going on in my life. Then I stop and count my blessings.

I master the strength to thank God for the good and beautiful things He gives. The people I get to create beautiful memories with. The hope of what the future holds for me. The good health that isn’t trying to have me broke. The meals that nourish my body and the house I can still afford in this Nairobi economy.

In that moment, I don’t feel hopeless. I think about how beautiful my life is and the possibilities of an even more beautiful future. I revel in the moment and take it all in.

I Write my Intention for the Day

Staying still and being in the moment has never been my forte. I get restless; I sometimes let myself get lost in a self-pity party.

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I discovered the 20 minute rule for low moments. It’s setting 20 minutes of your time to feel the sorrow, to cry out and then get yourself together and keep going.

When I was going through a huge disconnection with my job all I wanted was to spend an entire day in bed. I wanted to feel sad for myself as I binge watched Netflix. And I did, but the next day I would feel bad about my choices.

I decided to start setting my intentions for the day. I also like to call it, setting myself up for success. I write down my intentions so I can get to feel the satisfaction of ticking each one of the accomplished tasks.

Having a journal helps me not to suffocate in self-pity, drown in impostor syndrome and lose myself in misery. It’s satisfying. When I look back at an affirmation I wrote when going through a hard time and realize all turned out alright, I smile and realize that I am conqueror.

p.s: check my instagram on how to order your gratitude journal

 

 

 

 

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