Couple Goals: Why I Think This is Just a Social Media Hashtag

by Pauline
I had a conversation with a friend on whether our parents’ relationships are our couple goals. She made an interesting point. She pointed that as adults we can come out clean to ourselves on the kind of relationships our parents had. We can differentiate between them being great people, great parents and great lovers. We can then decide if they’re our relationship goals.

Our parents aren’t the only ones we’re looking up to as relationship goals. Beautiful filtered photos of couples on social media are now relationship goals. When couples decide to share their life on you tube we put them on a pedestal. When they share their travels and dinner moments we add that to our list of a perfect partner. One you can travel and dine with.

There is nothing wrong with couples sharing their lives with the world. We all have the freedom to share whatever we want. It’s the idolization of these relationships that’s misleading us. The idea that what we see is what we should aspire. We know well that we never post anything without editing or consulting friends. What makes us think they don’t do the same? Show us the perfect side only.

I am a victim of romanticizing social media relationships especially YouTube couples. My heart broke this year when my favorite international YouTube couple broke up. I took a while to get over it. I wondered why they couldn’t work it out, so selfish of me. Everything seemed perfect in their videos. In a video explaining their break up, they said that things aren’t always what they seem.

When we put pressure on a couple to be our relationship goals we are asking for perfection from them. We are putting them on a pedestal they never asked for. We are making an unconscious list in our minds of the kind of partner we want. We don’t even consider if we want what we see.

Faith Muturi Ngugi on sexual purity.

We are quick to put #couplegoals comment on a couple’s picture without thinking what that means.

Cheryl Strayed in her book ‘Brave Enough’ defines a perfect couple. “A perfect couple is a wholly private thing. No one but the two people in the relationship knows for certain whether they’re in one. It’s only defining quality is that it’s composed of two people who feel perfectly right about sharing their lives with each other, even during hard times.”

Our Favorite social media couples can be a source of inspiration no doubt. We get to have ideas on holiday destinations, dinner locations and more. We can also learn from those who dedicate themselves into talking about relationships issues.

We wouldn’t be doing ourselves justice putting pressure on our relationships to mirror theirs. We would be putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves to achieve unattainable goals.

All I am saying is, couple goals is just a social media hashtag. A hashtag used to compliment a nice picture of a couple. A picture or video of two people taking a chance on love and living it out, two people from different upbringing, coming together to create new beliefs.

There is nothing easy about that process. It takes courage, patience and most important God. Be your own relationship goals. Know what you want, pray about it and be the person you want to be with.




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Agnes October 31, 2019 - 9:38 am

This is an eye opening article. It’s a reality for many people

Pauline November 2, 2019 - 7:46 am

Thanks dear. Yes it is, we have to learn the difference between social media and real life


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