Sex is a beautiful thing.
Sex is a great experience, after all it was created by God. An act meant to be experienced by two adults who are in the institution of marriage.
We have, however, corrupted ourselves and neglected to do right. We want to engage in sex as soon as we realize our sexuality. We even go a step ahead to make memes of virgins in an attempt to demean their journey to purity.
The main thing that we do not highlight is the effect of premarital sex. Before I go further, I am not a saint trying to sell an idea that I came up with. I am sinner who recognizes that the only way I can be saved is by running to a perfect God.
I was not always cognizant of what God expects of us when it comes to sex not with it being a taboo to talk about when I was growing up. Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t feel like the Church did enough to educate us on sex. We had the usual talks in high school on how we could get pregnant if we had sex and also acquire sexually transmitted diseases which to me that was HIV/ AIDS, pardon my ignorance. This however did not sell the importance of abstaining – at least to most of us.
I think that if the church talked louder about sexually transmitted demons and soul ties we would understand God’s concept of sex. I am not trying to blame the church or my sweet mother for not telling what I now know because maybe they did and I didn’t listen.
It is clear in the Bible what God expects of us, let us delve into it for a minute.
1 Corinthians 6:16: “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, the two will become one flesh. But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.”
God requires us to protect our purity. He tells us that our body is His temple and not for sexual immorality.
1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”
When I started finding myself in God, I had to ask for forgiveness. It was very easy to ask Him to forgive me my sins, of lying, being unkind, hating people and such until it came to sexual sin. I had sinned against my body, His temple, does He forgive that? Good news is He forgives and sets you free. I prayed against soul ties and any demons I may have contracted and He set me free because the blood still works.
One of the dangers of sex before marriage is that you could end up with a person for a sexual experience other than a purpose for union, so you end up stuck with someone you don’t like for a feeling that you like. – Jerry Flowers-
While I am on that celibacy journey I decided to talk to a lady, a great friend who walked the journey and actually finished. Here is her testimony as a married woman who waited.
Celibacy is not a one fix all solution– Wathoni Waiyaki (https://nonichronicles.wordpress.com/)
What does celibacy mean to you?
Celibacy to me means abstaining from any form of sexual intercourse for whatever period in your life.
Was it a deal breaker for you? For any guy hitting on you and how soon did you bring it up in the conversation?
Yes it was a deal breaker. I had come into a season where I had decided that only my husband would be intimate with me. I would inform anyone interested immediately and of course many of those did not last.
How did celibacy help you in saying yes to your husband?
Well, to be honest it helped loads. It allowed me to see that he loved me for who I was and not for what I made him feel. This was because we enjoyed deeper forms of intimacy in our relationship with each other. Our foundation is deeper now.
How has celibacy influenced your marriage?
First and foremost, my husband knows me for who I am. While intimacy is very important in marriage, for us it was the cherry on the top. We had already had the difficult conversations and had grown our love the godly way so we therefore learned to be intimate in the purity that God always intended it to be in, marriage.
How has celibacy influenced your marriage?
It gave us a solid foundation. For some they don’t get to know each other at all because their dating life consists of being physical constantly. When you get into marriage that requires work it’s easy to become overwhelmed and many end up giving up or looking for that fire outside. For us we were real from day one. No fairy-tale nothing just us and Jesus. It paid off. We cope better with life. We celebrate the fact that we did it God’s way.
Do you think your marriage would be different if you didn’t practice celibacy?
I think it would have been different simply because the foundation tools we learned would have had to be learned in marriage. That would have been challenging considering you pick up so many other responsibilities. Also men are born hunters and love to hunt so the pride that he is working towards someone that he himself cannot have until he honors is very important. I find that he has carried that honor and respect into our marriage. There is no insecurity, just love.
Celibacy however is not a one fix all solution. You need to be willing to pray and build this foundation in Christ together because without this you do it in vain.
Lord forgive me for choosing him when the love you gave me in the beginning was enough, is enough because this lust got me out of touch with the one I need to feel the most. Me and him were never supposed to be close enough to be one like you and your son, so if you have to break us to break us up let Your will be done. – Preston Perry –
I will follow up on this celibacy post with another as I feel we can all grow together and fulfill God’s will on our lives. I will leave you with this extract from Preston Perry’s spoken word soul ties