Adulting came full on me. I felt disappointed and humiliated that I had to ask for help. I felt anger towards anyone who had said school was the way. I won’t lie; I still do on my worst days. I haven’t figured out this adulting thing yet, I still get in debt, have great financial days and down days. The government still claims I owe them for a degree I haven’t reaped benefits from so, yes, I am adulting.
In the spirit of not feeling alone, I asked my friends to share their broke moments with me. This was also inspired by an episode of the real daytime show.
If you are in your broke season, I pray you’ll get inspired to keep going by these personal stories from my friends. I know each one of them and they have a better story now.
L.N: I borrowed clothes from my friend to go for an interview at a medical center. She gave me tights and a black shirt. I ended up having the boss embarrass me by calling me out for my outfit.
Another broke moment was when I was 7 months pregnant. I once slept hungry because there was nothing to eat. Things didn’t get easier after my daughter’s birth as for some time we slept on a mattress on the floor. Tough times!
God is faithful as now things are way better for her and her precious daughter.
Kevin .R: Realizing that my neighbor and I were broke at the same time, we decided to pool resources together. I had maize flour and they looked for money to buy kales and tomato and onion. We made ugali and stew, a complete meal.
Sometimes it calls for unity and creativity during these trying times.
Ben.M: I withdrew Ksh.100 from an Atm.
Times must have been tough to go for the last note in your bank account.
Kevin.W: I had tea and bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a whole week.
One of my friends decided to go deep and talk about a broke season in her family.
Maggy.M: When I joined high school, my dad and I travelled to Meru leaving my sick mum at home. We had exhausted a lot of funds from my mums’ medical bills. My dad borrowed his brothers’ shoes which were small in size to take me to school. He was uncomfortable the whole journey but never complained.
I was joining school when students were preparing for midterm. When parting with my dad he gave me ksh.100 as my pocket money, I also didn’t have any shopping with me. High school was tough for me as most of the times I was at home due to lack of school fees.
The sacrifices our parents endured. We will always love and cherish them for that. God knows we will do our best to give them a great retirement.
A.K: I lost my job at a printing company while my wife was expectant and almost due. Luckily i got a job interview but because of how our finances were tough i couldn’t buy a shoe for the interview.
I borrowed a shoe that unfortunately had a bent sole. My wife and i cut the sole to make it look straight at least for a day. It worked and i got the job.
Steve: A love story between a man and his cat.
“When in Campus times were tough. I lived in a single room far from school where houses went for less. I had a cat and when I had money I would get food for me and ‘mutura’ for her. Most times when I didn’t have anything for her I would chase her away. She would disappear for a few days then come back. On these days I would survive on the famous “kdf” mandazi and black tea.
Surviving campus meant being creative especially during the weekend. I would sleep in a lot so that when I wake up I only have to eat lunch and have ‘mandazi” and strong tea for dinner. When things got tough I would visit my friends and eat at their place. This was common in campus. ”
When we are going through tough times, it’s hard to believe things will get better. Life has a way of humbling us, some more than others. I have had my own share and the thing about life is that; once in a while it still throws in those tough seasons.
If I am learning anything it’s that;
Nothing is Permanent
Life situations seem insurmountable when we’re going through it. It feels like a heavy load fell on you and everyone is walking past you going on with their life.
Things get better. If you look back you aren’t where you used to be. You may not be where you want to be but you have overcome some mountains. Keep the faith.
It’s Okay to Feel Disappointed
It’s okay to not be okay. Express your feelings to yourself and loved ones and most importantly to God. I love to have a talk with God (pray). I acknowledge who He is, a father who knows what I need before I say anything.
He is a God in whom all things work together for good for those who love him. A father who will not give me stones when I ask for bread.
No Pity Parties
“We do not have the right to feel helpless. We must help ourselves. After destiny has delivered what it delivers, we are responsible for our lives.” Cheryl Strayed
After you have had your moment feeling sad and disappointed, pick yourself up. It’s tempting and easy to hold a pity party for long but you have got to start looking for a way out. Ask for help if you have to but don’t stay stuck.
If you are an affirmations kind of person, read them out loud.
You can’t give up when it gets hard. You know why? Because Good things will come!